where are you going? in this bewitched life
by GoldSilver02
Summary: The first time Pansy Parkinson ventures into Muggle London is after the War.


Disclaimer: I own nothing of course. It's all part of J.K.'s world. Lucky witch.

Pairing: Allusions to lots.

Warning: Okay, so this has been withering around in my head for a while and I just started to write it down and I decided why not? So, here I am. It's my first Harry Potter in a long time and it's about Pansy Parkinson who I think is wicked. But you know, my version of her. The not so cowish version of her. So yeah, I guess I do take a different route with her than Rowling does and she seem a bit OC but seriously? Its after the war and tons of people change so here's my take on it. Hope everyone likes it!

Summary: The first time Pansy Parkinson ventures into Muggle London is after the War.

* * *

_where are you going? in this bewitched life._

_one-shot_

* * *

The first time Pansy Parkinson ventures into Muggle London is after the War. Her parents are dead and she has nowhere else to go. She is labeled a traitor and everywhere she turns and everywhere she looks there are people glaring at her. Whispering about her.

She thinks London is vile and disgusting and watches as all the people pass her by without even a glance. Some will smile. Some will nod. None of them give her looks. And it occurs to her, as she sits on a park bench, that they don't know her.

The epiphany startles her as she thinks that she could maybe-just maybe start over again.

She's so wrapped in her thoughts of a new life (_because secretly she's always wanted to see Paris_) that she doesn't notice the young man slide onto the bench next to her.

It isn't until he clears his throat that she looks over at him-an insult is inching on her lips-but she frowns and cocks her head to the side. He looks vaguely familiar to her, which she knows to be crazy because she knows no one in Muggle London.

"You're different." He states.

And the insult that disappeared a moment ago comes flying back. She's opening her mouth ready to tell him to go away or scream bloody murder.

"My kind of different." He says again. He leans in closer. "The magic kind of different."

Her mouth is hanging open when she finally decides to close it. "Who. Are. You?"

He smiles sadly. "Stephen Cornfoot." He introduces himself. "I was in the year ahead of you. In Ravenclaw."

"Lovely." Pansy says. She gets up and walks away.

She feels something that she's not used to feeling and can't quite pin point the feeling but she keeps on walking. It isn't until she's a good distance away that she actually looks back.

Stephen Cornfoot is still sitting on the park bench watching while people run around him. His blonde hair is blowing in the wind.

It doesn't matter that she kind of-sort of wants to stay.

She turns back around and walks away.

* * *

Asteria Greengrass is a beautiful girl. Pansy Parkinson has always known this.

And apparently so does Draco Malfoy.

And it breaks Pansy because she has spent her whole entire life loving Draco. Everything that she has ever done and has become has been for Draco.

All she has ever wanted in her (_pathetic as she clearly sees it now_) life is for Draco to love her back.

He doesn't. He's made that perfectly clear to her. In every single thing he said to her earlier that day.

And she said nothing to him. She found herself unable to speak. So, she nodded gracefully to him and she all but ran from his manor. She thinks she imagined him calling her back.

She's sitting at a dingy pub in Muggle London (_for the second time_) drinking until she can't remember her own name.

She's so caught up in drinking away her life that she doesn't notice him until he grabs the bottle away from her.

She looks up at him through her blurred eyes. He takes the seat across from her.

"Pansy Parkinson. Pureblood Slytherin. Deserter. Traitor."

She grows angry. "Oh shut-up!" She snaps. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You have no right to judge me!"

He's still sitting across from her. His hands are folded on the table in front of him.

"You're right. I don't have the right. I am a deserter. I didn't fight. After I graduated, I left and never went back." He pauses. "Well, I mean I do occasionally go back but not for the fight."

And she hates herself for humoring him. "Why?"

He shrugs and takes a swig out of the bottle that he took away from her. He winces. (Okay, so she likes the hard stuff). "Honestly? Because I'm terrified of dying."

"So, you're a coward?" She slurs.

"Touché."

Stephen Cornfoot stands behind her and holds her hair back while she retches onto the side of the street. He holds her when she decides to breakdown and cry.

* * *

She decides to ignore Draco and everyone else who tries to contact her. She stays holed up in her large empty manor and cries at night when she knows that her tears won't matter.

On the fifth day of her self-pity she goes back to Muggle London. She doesn't know why she goes. She detests the place (_and she knows that if her parents were still alive they'd probably hang her for going_) but she goes anyways.

She doesn't know where she's going but she ends up at the park bench she sat on all those days ago. To her surprise he's already there. He outstretches his hand.

She glances down at it and raises her eyebrows.

"Want to go on an adventure? I'll show you around London. It may take a few days but it'll be worth it."

She hears his hidden meaning; _I'm giving you an out. To get away for a few days and forget everything. Everyone._

She takes his hand and lets him pull her away.

* * *

Muggle London is actually beautiful. Pansy won't ever admit it that though.

He shows her places that she only dreamed could have existed and she takes in all of the information greedily. She's so concentrated on trying to forget that she doesn't notice his glances. His small smiles. His grand gestures.

It's surprisingly easy for Stephen Cornfoot to make Pansy laugh. And she thinks it's strange. She thinks its so unlike herself but she doesn't seem to care.

Because no one is left to care for her.

* * *

"Why don't you ever go back to the Wizarding World?" Pansy asks him one night while they're sitting out on the balcony of her hotel room.

Stephen shrugs. "Nothing left for me there. Mum died when I was young and Da died in the War. My younger brother stayed and fought and when Da found out he went after him."

"What about your brother?" She kind of dreads asking the question because she has a feeling she knows what's coming.

"He died too." And he looks at her with tears in his eyes. "I'm all alone."

A moment of silence dawns upon them. She slowly reaches out and grabs his hand. "Maybe not completely alone."

And for once, Pansy Parkinson doesn't feel so pathetic.

* * *

When she goes back to the Wizarding World, she goes back without Stephen.

Their adventure is still clear in her memory that she's smiling as she climbs up the steps to her empty manor. Her smile disappears when she sees Draco Malfoy standing in front of her door.

His hair is longer. That's the first thing she notices about him.

"What do you want?" She asks him.

"Where have you been!?" He explodes at her. "You haven't answered any of my letters. Your Floo is cut off. I thought you died!"

Pansy scoffs, harsh tears springing to her eyes. "Yes, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

He pauses. "What? Pans, how could you even…" He trails off, "you're the only one I have left."

She shakes her head and can feel the anger bubbling in her. "ME? Draco, ME? You have your family. You have your mother and father and you Asteria Draco. What the fuck use am I to you now? I'm not the only one left for you Draco. You have never and will never be alone." She clutches at her robes. "Look at me Draco! _Look. At. Me_! _I_ have nothing. Everyone has turned their backs on me and you…you hate me."

He shook his head. "I don't. I was angry. I never should have said those things."

Pansy sighs and holds up a hand. "I can't do this right now, Draco."

She doesn't give him a second chance as she walks into her still empty and cold manor. She hears the door shut and she leaves him outside.

Along with the many pieces of her shattered heart.

* * *

Stephen comes to visit the next day after her confrontation with Draco. She tells him all about it. She doesn't know why.

He listens as she rants and raves.

"I'm moving to France." He blurts out. "Well, Wizarding France. They've offered me a job there at a good newspaper."

She's read his stuff and has to admit that he is a rather good writer. She vaguely remembers him telling her that he's fluent in French too.

"That's good." She forces out. Because deep inside she always knew that this was too good to last. That someday he would get sick of her and escape.

She realizes that when he leaves she will be truly and completely alone.

"There's nothing left for me here." He tells her.

She knows this.

"There's nothing left for you here either." He says.

She hears his hidden meaning; _I'm giving you an out. To get away. To start anew. To forget everything. Everyone._

"I've always wanted to see Paris." She admits.

And when he smiles, Pansy smiles too.

* * *

She sells her manor. She sells everything that reminds her of someone she doesn't want to be reminded of.

She doesn't tell anyone she's going.

She leaves a note for whoever-if anyone-tries looking for her.

It's a short note. Simple. To the point.

_France_.

* * *

When Pansy was a little girl, she often dreamed of a happily ever after. With children who loved her and a husband who adored her.

She often dreamed of great friends and happiness.

And okay she did dream of being rich but that's besides the picture.

Because in her dreams when she was younger, there was always one man standing next to her. A tall white haired man who she has known since birth.

The man standing next to her now is tall. But his hair is a light blonde. His eyes are a clear blue and he isn't afraid to get a little dirty.

Her three children are the same way.

And they laugh and smile and light up when they see her. They call her 'mama' and 'mummy'.

And Pansy's heart swells with happiness and she knows that this is the place where she belongs. This is where she isn't alone.

_This is where she's complete._

* * *

So, yeah, she's kind of OC but I hope that you all liked it! Hehehe. I think there will be a next installment but who knows?

Stephen Cornfoot is a character in Harry Potter and he is a year older than the trio and pals. He was in Ravenclaw and is a pureblood. All of this can be found on the Harry Potter Lexicon website which is a gift! So thank you to Lexicon! And everything else about him I kind of made up. So I hope you all enjoyed this!

Thanks so much for your time!

Truly

Books.


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